If you don't have anything nice to say...

I am often shocked at things that people say and post online. In my opinion there are four types of online posters.

1. The nosy neighbor - You know this person. They are the first one to say what's wrong on the vague posts about ones problems. The first one to say "message me" after someone posts asking simply for prayers. They are also the ones that want to know what every ambulance, police call or fire truck is doing and who they are doing it for. For the most part you will find them on Salina Scoop!!! on Facebook and trolling SalinaPost.

2. The conclusion jumper - Sometimes they are in the same category with the nosy neighbor. If someone is arrested or a crime committed it is automatically drug related. They say things like this when someone is killed: "Once again we find a low life drug user up to no good except this time us tax payers will not have to foot the bill to keep him in jail.". They seem to "know it all and share it all" but never really seem to know the facts. These same people are the ones who when a police car drives by a school they are certain something criminal is at work and that their child is in danger. Then they are upset when the school doesn't contact them to tell them a police car drove by.

3. The newshound - This person visits multiple news sources and reports the facts from the stories, admits when they don't know the whole story and corrects people when they are wrong. They are typically not popular people in the comments section because they bring a bit of level headedness to the conversation.

4. The could care less - These people never know what is going on in the news and could care less. You are not going to find them knowing anything going on in the news but they will probably post cute cat videos and lots of pictures of their kids. You can try to discuss news events but you aren't going to get far.

On one last note...

News is not free. It shouldn't be free. When a story breaks a newspaper sends out a photographer and a reporter to write the story. It comes back to the office and someone has to proof it and then put it into the newspaper layout or on the web. All of these people expect to be paid for what they are doing. Advertising does pay for a portion of this but not all. Subscriptions help make up the rest. When you have a "news" source that is putting content out for free like SalinaPost you must ask yourself if that person is out their putting stories up that have been slightly edited from another source or if they are actually at the ball game, city commission meeting, school board meeting or other event. If you are relying on a Facebook site like Salina Scoop!!! you need to realize that all they are doing is compiling other "news" sources onto their page for you to read or posting what they hear on the police scanner which is not always correct. Many times a report comes across a police scanner and once it has been investigated becomes something completely different.

For example: Police scanner: "We have reports of a man laying in the grass near the street either passed out or ill"
Actually: Sewer repair man laying on the ground fixing something under the water department cover in the parking area of a house.

Think about your news source...think about what you are saying in your posts. Don't spread rumors!

Pharmacy School Widow

Year two is winding down and finals week is upon us. This year I felt we were more prepared for what the year would have in store for us than we were last year. The classes I think were harder for Ben but the time he was away from our family in his office didn't feel as bad.

I am excited for Friday night. We will have Ben back with us for the summer for the most part. Last night was Gage's honors night at school and while Ben was physically with us I know mentally he was working on finals prep. (The phone with his lecture notes on it wasn't a clue at all!) After we got home he had me quiz him on some of the drugs and what they are used for and how they work. I couldn't even pronounce most of them! He has a final every day this week and Monday's went well. Tuesday and Friday are the ones we are worried most about.

So after Friday's final we will have Ben back...until Monday when he starts his two week rotation at the hospital. Then in July he will head to Omaha for two weeks for his summer session. I'm really not sure who is more excited the kids or me and I'm not sure if Ben is more excited to be done with classes for this year or to get to spend time with us.

My advice to anyone who has a significant other that is planning on Pharmacy School is to make sure you are prepared to spend nine months out of the year as a Pharmacy School Widow. Your significant other needs you to be supportive and understanding. They need you to realize that most people who go through this program are not tied down and are immersed in school 24/7. Most of all they need you to work with their schedule and what is going on in their life.

This is what happens when they have studied for hours on end...no worries an hour after finals they go back to normal!

A new year means getting back on track!

The new year is here and it is time to get my family back on track. It always seems November and December tend to slide on how many meals we eat at home and how many we eat out. So January is here and we are back to menu planning. I thought I would tell you all how I go about our menu planning and share our January menu with you.

First I grab the calendar and put all appointments and events that all family members have. This helps me know what nights are going to have to be super quick meals or crock pot meals. Next up is spending some time on Pinterest. I have to laugh when I say spending "some time" on Pinterest because we all know it is going to take way longer than a few minutes! I have attempted to fix my Pinterest boards so that I have one for chicken recipes, one for pork, one for beef and one for sweets and sides. My last board is things I have actually tried. After I have made a recipe I write a bit of a review of what our family thought so I know if it is worth making again.

I fill out the calendar with what's for dinner each night and lunches and dinners on weekends. Then I create weekly grocery lists so I don't have to think about feeding the family for the rest of month! I was late getting January's done so it doesn't start until January 7. Here's our meal plan for the month:

January 7 - Breakfast for dinner
January 8 - (Church night) Pepperoni Roll-up
January 9 - Chicken Roll-ups
January 10 - Chicken Noodle Casserole
January 11 - Lunch - Nuggets and Mashed Potatoes Dinner - Chicken Fried Steak
January 12 - Lunch - Pork Chops Dinner - MYO (Make your own) we do this every Sunday night because of church commitments in the evenings
January 13 - Mozzarella Stuffed Meatballs and Pasta
January 14 - French Bread Pizza
January 15 - (Church Night) Hamburger Helper
January 16 - Mollie Pie (This is really Sheppard's Pie the boys have just always called it Mollie Pie)
January 17 - Chicken Enchiladas
January 18 - Eat out (My great uncle turns 100 and we have his party)
January 19 - Lunch - Chicken Fried Steak Dinner - MYO
January 20 - Tacos
January 21 - Mandy's Easy Cheesy Chicken Casserole
January 22 - (Church Night) Pot Roast
January 23 - Hamburger Helper
January 24 - Breakfast
January 25 - Lunch - Mollie Pie (Gage takes the SAT's and Mollie Pie is his favorite) Dinner - Grilled Cheese and Bacon
January 26 - Lunch - Pork Chops Dinner - MYO
January 27 - Hamburger Helper
January 28 - French Bread Pizza
January 29 - (Church Night) Crock Pot Chicken and Stuffing
January 30 - Chimichangas
January 31 - Crock Pot Chicken and Dumplings

If you want a recipe just ask in the comments and I would be more than happy to give it to you or direct you to the link if it is from Pinterest.

What are your families favorite meals?

Random Acts of Kindness Advent-ure

I am certain at this point many know the story of the man who was walking along the beaches picking up starfish and throwing them back in the water. When another man approached him and asked what he was doing he said he was throwing them back to safety. The man remarked that there were so many starfish surely he wasn't making that big of a difference. As the man threw another starfish back in the water he looked at the man and said "I made a difference for that one".

While looking at our Christmas season this year and I decided instead of having an Advent Calendar we would have an Advent-ure in Kindness. Each day counting down to Christmas we are doing a random act of kindness. Little did I know when we started planning this the difference it would make in our holiday season.

The beginning of this project came in October when a friend approached me about a car. She told me she had a friend who was moving out of the country and wanted to give her car to someone who could use it. She had thought of a mutual friend of ours and we set to work on getting the car for him. We wrote letters to the gifter about him and discussed it all at length. When we found out he would get the car we were thrilled! The night we surprised him with the keys was one of the most amazing nights of my life. Here was a man in his 40's who has never owned a car and works at a job that would probably never afford him that luxury and we were able to help him not have to walk to work in the cold and snow.

Here is a breakdown of the 24 RAOK we are doing for our Advent-ure:

December 1 - Make and deliver a Christmas card to someone at church
December 2 - Compliment a friend at school
December 3 - Write a letter to Grandma about what she means to you
December 4 - Thank a youth leader at church
December 5 - Deliver donuts or cupcakes to the firestation
December 6 - Hide small toys around the playground to be found and played with
December 7 - Open the door for everyone you meet today
December 8 - Write the mail man a thank you note for delivering our mail each day
December 9 - Thank a waiter or waitress at a restaurant for their great service
December 10 - Thank a teacher for everything you have learned from them
December 11 - Purchase the items needed to make Chemo Kits for the cancer center
December 12 - Cheer Cards for kids who are sick or in the hospital this season
December 13 - Shop for the Food Bank
December 14 - Deliver food to the Food Bank and see if they need any help
December 15 - Coin Ninja's Leave bags of change taped to vending machines
December 16 - Compliment a stranger
December 17 - Open the door for all we meet
December 18 - Shop for homeless care kits and assemble
December 19 - Deliver cookies to the neighbors
December 20 - Leave $1 bills in the toy area at the Dollar Store
December 21 - Assemble the Chemo Kits for Tammy Walker
December 22 - Make cards for church members who can't get out to church on Sunday's
December 23 - Deliver Chemo Kits to Tammy Walker
December 24 - Give a candy cane to everyone we see today

After the holiday season is over we are going to continue to do our Random Acts of Kindness and I am sure we will find more along the way. I have started a group on Facebook to post Random Acts of Kindness in hopes of getting even more ideas. This is the link to that group if you wish to join.

My challenge to you is to do the little things to make people happy. It doesn't have to cost anything and can make a big difference in their day.

Sowing the seeds of friendship

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

In middle school and high school I had the same set of friends. Heck some of them have been friends since grade school. The thing about friends from that point in your life is that when you grow up you remain friends but everyone moves on. Due to work or family people move to other cities and states. Those friendships are still important but there is something to be said about being able to call someone and say "Would you like to grab a cup of coffee and talk for awhile?". I haven't had friends that I could do that with for about 10 years now. Sure my friends would come and visit and I would go visit them and there is always Facebook of course. But it isn't the same.

We changed churches two years ago and began attending Church of the Cross. The transformation I have experienced since this change is unbelievable to me. I look forward to going to church each Sunday. If I miss for some reason I feel like my week is not complete. Ben and I started attending Sunday school. We love it! I even went on an adult mission trip. However, the biggest transformation for me is that I have friends. To most that probably doesn't sound like a big deal but I really struggle with meeting new people and cultivating friendships. I'm awkward with people I don't know very well. Let's face it I have a much different sense of humor than most people my age.

A few weeks ago I was approached by a church member about co-leading a women's group. I hesitated and thought about it for a rather short time and agreed. While I am going to co-lead I am going to learn far more than I will probably be able to give back. Our first book that we are going to do I am sure I will read inside and out and learn all of the Bible passages needed to go along with it. Bible knowledge is not something I have have an extreme amount of at this point in my life. I am one of those people who needs to know all the information before feeling comfortable discussing something. If I think what I have to say is going to sound stupid I just don't say it at all. However, the friendship with my co-leader is something I most look forward to. We seem to have the same interests and as crazy as it sounds I feel comfortable with her.

The biggest friendship moment came though last Sunday. Another church member invited myself and the other co-leader to go to a bingo for purses fundraiser for Hospice. We went and had a wonderful time. Neither one of them will probably ever understand how much this seemingly small gesture affected me. I came home that night and in my prayers I thanked God for bringing these two women into my life. He seemed to realize that while I struggle to form these friendships on my own that they are important to have.

Along with these two new friends I have reconnected with someone I knew growing up that lives in Salina. She is full of energy and can discuss anything. I also stepped out of my comfort zone and made a new friend while we were in line at a concert. He has proven to be a fun person to be around and I am certain that our friendship will continue to grow. While thinking about all of this I can't help but realize that we had so much rain this year that perhaps it was enough to water the friendship seeds for me. I will continue to pray that God will cultivate these friendships and they will continue to grow.

My hope is that everyone who reads this will reach out to someone that they may have contact with on a weekly basis and try to start a friendship with them. Even if you simply ask them how they are when you see them or make sure you talk to them when you see them outside of the normal setting it will make a difference in peoples lives.

The joys of college

Ben finished his first year of Pharmacy School. He needed to retake biochem this summer and found that Michigan State offered it online. He enrolled and paid the fee and off he went. The class started in May while we were on vacation but like a good student he brought his laptop along and started studying. His summer was consumed by this class. He studied for hours and hours and in the end passed it. However, not before we had a scare that he didn't.

Now the new school year has started and he has jumped right in. After the misunderstanding about his biochem class from this summer he was in the year two classes and then out of two of them and now he is back in them. This three day weekend that most use to rejuvenate themselves after the start of a school year he will use to catch up on the classes he has missed.

My dad never taught me to fish and I'm okay with that.

Six years ago in December my dad had a massive stroke that has left him in a nursing home. It has left him unable to walk, write, read and he has troubles finding the right words to say. Many peoples lives changed the day he had his stroke. I quickly became the decision maker and his friends have become more caregiver then friend.

Some of you don't know my dad or haven't known him since before the stroke. Let me paint a picture of him for you. He was a very outgoing person. He loved life and theater. I hear he was really something on stage. Lawrence, Kansas City and NYC were just a few places he called home. My co-workers remember the plates of goodies he would bake and bring in for us. My friends remember a fun person to visit while we were in KC. My parents divorced when I was five so I would see him on weekends occasionally. While he has always and will always be my dad there were times we didn't see each other or talk for long periods.

Since his stroke I have struggled being the person responsible for him. When it comes time to visit him I can't help but remember the times I wouldn't see him or how on my 16th birthday he didn't call. Perhaps I don't visit him as much as most children would visit their father's but my dad and I had a different relationship growing up.

Today the Supreme Court of the United States struck down DOMA and Prop 8. To many people this isn't a big deal. However, to me it is huge. The thing is, my dad is gay. While he can understand what is going on and talk about it he will never fully enjoy knowing the impact of today.

Many would say their dad taught them how to fish, work on cars or build something. My dad taught me something much more important in this world. Acceptance. He taught me to treat everyone equally. It doesn't matter if you are gay, straight, black or white you are still a person. Everyone should be treated with the same respect.

"No matter where you live, no matter who your parents are, no matter what kind of family you're in, you are equal, you are as good as your friends' parents and your friends." ~ Kris Perry