Random Acts of Kindness Advent-ure

I am certain at this point many know the story of the man who was walking along the beaches picking up starfish and throwing them back in the water. When another man approached him and asked what he was doing he said he was throwing them back to safety. The man remarked that there were so many starfish surely he wasn't making that big of a difference. As the man threw another starfish back in the water he looked at the man and said "I made a difference for that one".

While looking at our Christmas season this year and I decided instead of having an Advent Calendar we would have an Advent-ure in Kindness. Each day counting down to Christmas we are doing a random act of kindness. Little did I know when we started planning this the difference it would make in our holiday season.

The beginning of this project came in October when a friend approached me about a car. She told me she had a friend who was moving out of the country and wanted to give her car to someone who could use it. She had thought of a mutual friend of ours and we set to work on getting the car for him. We wrote letters to the gifter about him and discussed it all at length. When we found out he would get the car we were thrilled! The night we surprised him with the keys was one of the most amazing nights of my life. Here was a man in his 40's who has never owned a car and works at a job that would probably never afford him that luxury and we were able to help him not have to walk to work in the cold and snow.

Here is a breakdown of the 24 RAOK we are doing for our Advent-ure:

December 1 - Make and deliver a Christmas card to someone at church
December 2 - Compliment a friend at school
December 3 - Write a letter to Grandma about what she means to you
December 4 - Thank a youth leader at church
December 5 - Deliver donuts or cupcakes to the firestation
December 6 - Hide small toys around the playground to be found and played with
December 7 - Open the door for everyone you meet today
December 8 - Write the mail man a thank you note for delivering our mail each day
December 9 - Thank a waiter or waitress at a restaurant for their great service
December 10 - Thank a teacher for everything you have learned from them
December 11 - Purchase the items needed to make Chemo Kits for the cancer center
December 12 - Cheer Cards for kids who are sick or in the hospital this season
December 13 - Shop for the Food Bank
December 14 - Deliver food to the Food Bank and see if they need any help
December 15 - Coin Ninja's Leave bags of change taped to vending machines
December 16 - Compliment a stranger
December 17 - Open the door for all we meet
December 18 - Shop for homeless care kits and assemble
December 19 - Deliver cookies to the neighbors
December 20 - Leave $1 bills in the toy area at the Dollar Store
December 21 - Assemble the Chemo Kits for Tammy Walker
December 22 - Make cards for church members who can't get out to church on Sunday's
December 23 - Deliver Chemo Kits to Tammy Walker
December 24 - Give a candy cane to everyone we see today

After the holiday season is over we are going to continue to do our Random Acts of Kindness and I am sure we will find more along the way. I have started a group on Facebook to post Random Acts of Kindness in hopes of getting even more ideas. This is the link to that group if you wish to join.

My challenge to you is to do the little things to make people happy. It doesn't have to cost anything and can make a big difference in their day.

Sowing the seeds of friendship

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

In middle school and high school I had the same set of friends. Heck some of them have been friends since grade school. The thing about friends from that point in your life is that when you grow up you remain friends but everyone moves on. Due to work or family people move to other cities and states. Those friendships are still important but there is something to be said about being able to call someone and say "Would you like to grab a cup of coffee and talk for awhile?". I haven't had friends that I could do that with for about 10 years now. Sure my friends would come and visit and I would go visit them and there is always Facebook of course. But it isn't the same.

We changed churches two years ago and began attending Church of the Cross. The transformation I have experienced since this change is unbelievable to me. I look forward to going to church each Sunday. If I miss for some reason I feel like my week is not complete. Ben and I started attending Sunday school. We love it! I even went on an adult mission trip. However, the biggest transformation for me is that I have friends. To most that probably doesn't sound like a big deal but I really struggle with meeting new people and cultivating friendships. I'm awkward with people I don't know very well. Let's face it I have a much different sense of humor than most people my age.

A few weeks ago I was approached by a church member about co-leading a women's group. I hesitated and thought about it for a rather short time and agreed. While I am going to co-lead I am going to learn far more than I will probably be able to give back. Our first book that we are going to do I am sure I will read inside and out and learn all of the Bible passages needed to go along with it. Bible knowledge is not something I have have an extreme amount of at this point in my life. I am one of those people who needs to know all the information before feeling comfortable discussing something. If I think what I have to say is going to sound stupid I just don't say it at all. However, the friendship with my co-leader is something I most look forward to. We seem to have the same interests and as crazy as it sounds I feel comfortable with her.

The biggest friendship moment came though last Sunday. Another church member invited myself and the other co-leader to go to a bingo for purses fundraiser for Hospice. We went and had a wonderful time. Neither one of them will probably ever understand how much this seemingly small gesture affected me. I came home that night and in my prayers I thanked God for bringing these two women into my life. He seemed to realize that while I struggle to form these friendships on my own that they are important to have.

Along with these two new friends I have reconnected with someone I knew growing up that lives in Salina. She is full of energy and can discuss anything. I also stepped out of my comfort zone and made a new friend while we were in line at a concert. He has proven to be a fun person to be around and I am certain that our friendship will continue to grow. While thinking about all of this I can't help but realize that we had so much rain this year that perhaps it was enough to water the friendship seeds for me. I will continue to pray that God will cultivate these friendships and they will continue to grow.

My hope is that everyone who reads this will reach out to someone that they may have contact with on a weekly basis and try to start a friendship with them. Even if you simply ask them how they are when you see them or make sure you talk to them when you see them outside of the normal setting it will make a difference in peoples lives.

The joys of college

Ben finished his first year of Pharmacy School. He needed to retake biochem this summer and found that Michigan State offered it online. He enrolled and paid the fee and off he went. The class started in May while we were on vacation but like a good student he brought his laptop along and started studying. His summer was consumed by this class. He studied for hours and hours and in the end passed it. However, not before we had a scare that he didn't.

Now the new school year has started and he has jumped right in. After the misunderstanding about his biochem class from this summer he was in the year two classes and then out of two of them and now he is back in them. This three day weekend that most use to rejuvenate themselves after the start of a school year he will use to catch up on the classes he has missed.

My dad never taught me to fish and I'm okay with that.

Six years ago in December my dad had a massive stroke that has left him in a nursing home. It has left him unable to walk, write, read and he has troubles finding the right words to say. Many peoples lives changed the day he had his stroke. I quickly became the decision maker and his friends have become more caregiver then friend.

Some of you don't know my dad or haven't known him since before the stroke. Let me paint a picture of him for you. He was a very outgoing person. He loved life and theater. I hear he was really something on stage. Lawrence, Kansas City and NYC were just a few places he called home. My co-workers remember the plates of goodies he would bake and bring in for us. My friends remember a fun person to visit while we were in KC. My parents divorced when I was five so I would see him on weekends occasionally. While he has always and will always be my dad there were times we didn't see each other or talk for long periods.

Since his stroke I have struggled being the person responsible for him. When it comes time to visit him I can't help but remember the times I wouldn't see him or how on my 16th birthday he didn't call. Perhaps I don't visit him as much as most children would visit their father's but my dad and I had a different relationship growing up.

Today the Supreme Court of the United States struck down DOMA and Prop 8. To many people this isn't a big deal. However, to me it is huge. The thing is, my dad is gay. While he can understand what is going on and talk about it he will never fully enjoy knowing the impact of today.

Many would say their dad taught them how to fish, work on cars or build something. My dad taught me something much more important in this world. Acceptance. He taught me to treat everyone equally. It doesn't matter if you are gay, straight, black or white you are still a person. Everyone should be treated with the same respect.

"No matter where you live, no matter who your parents are, no matter what kind of family you're in, you are equal, you are as good as your friends' parents and your friends." ~ Kris Perry